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Don’t delay. Apply today.
If you meet these qualifications, we encourage you to apply. Even if you don’t meet these qualification, you should apply anyway. You never know…
Just send your name, address, phone number, email address, and a check for $249.95 to cover the application processing fee.
And if you somehow managed to get a credit card, we accept those too.
Spam University offers a comprehensive and well-rounded educational experience for people from all over the world. Spam U graduates send out billions of spam emails every day of the year. You probably have a few dozen in your inbox right now!
Following is a partial list of courses offered at Spam University. Request a Spam U Catalog for a complete course listing (only $24.95).
*Federal accreditation represents the highest form of globally accepted, legal and valid accreditation of a college or university, and the validity of awarded academic degrees. Spam University is accredited by the TEU, the GGFT, the AALRU, the PITGA, the NNHFCU, the AFFGU, the SGA, the PGA, and the NFL.
Spam University is located in beautiful Youlose, Mississippi.
Students from all over the world flock to Mississippi, which is often considered to be the intellectual capital of the the U.S.
First-year students are required to live on-campus, in our modern high-tech dormitories. Best of all, plenty of free parking is available.
Recreation and Student Activities
Spam University students have access to a wide variety of wholesome (and educational) recreational activities and sports.
But don’t take our word for it. Read what our graduates have to say about Spam U.
Although Spam University is best known for its highly-acclaimed academic programs, the university also excels in athletics. Spam U has won 12 athletic championships since 1995.
Spam U Athletic Caps, only $24.95
Spam University periodically sponsors special events for our students and faculty. Here’s a summary of the events planned for this academic year.
The Famous Spammers Roundtable
The Famous Spammers Roundtable is one of our most exciting events. Leading spammers from across the world gather for a lively discussion of issues that affect the spamming industry.
Alan Ralsky will be on campus
The participants in this event are not your common everyday spammers. These are the cream of the crop, and each one of the participants is listed on the prestigious ROKSO List at Spamhaus!
Here’s a partial list of well-known spammers who have agreed to participate this year:
Everyone is invited to this event, which will be held during the Fall semester (the exact data and time to be announced).
Partnering With Microsoft
The biggest event on campus this year will be a special appearance by Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates.
Bill "Bill" Gates will demonstrate Microsoft’s upcoming "Spam Machine." This amazing device consists of special hardware and software that will make spamming easier than ever. And that means more money in your pocket, and more students enrolled at Spam U.
"The Spam Machine is capable of churning out more than 1 million spam emails per hour, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And best of all, these messages are 100% untraceable," said Gates.
Gates will also provide the details regarding the
exciting new "Spam Partnering" program that will revolutionize the
Coping With Rejection
We’re pleased to announce that the world’s most prestigious psychologist, Dr. Joyce Brothers, will deliver a speech to the student body during the Winter semester.
Topic: Copying With Rejection.
Here’s an example (no charge) of the type of advice you’ll receive:
"No matter how much pressure you feel at work, if you could find ways to relax for at least five minutes every hour, you’d be more productive." – Dr. Joyce Brothers, Famous Psychologist
(Note: Laughter not allowed during the speech.)
Spam U Summer Concert Series
This year’s outdoor concert series will be the best ever. We’ve finally managed to book Jody Carver and Johnny Cucci, fresh from their "Hot Club of America" tour. The highlight of the show will be their rendition of "We Spam and We Don’t Give a Damn."
Join them for an evening toe-tapping and finger-snapping music you won’t forget.
(Note: Red jackets are required)
Admission: $30 and $60.
The highlight of the academic year, of course, is graduation day.
Our hard-working students put down their books. They enter the working world and begin their spamming careers. It’s a time of joy, and a time of new beginnings. And the world becomes a better place to live.
Here’s a lovely graduation day poem, written by one of our recent grads.
I learned some writing
The photo below was taken at last year’s graduation ceremony. This year’s even promises to be even bigger and better.
We at Spam University respect your privacy. Yeah, right. We respect it about as far as we can throw it.
By viewing this page, you agree that we can do whatever we damn well please with your personal information. Sell it. Give it away. Trade it for cheap beer. Auction it on eBay. Give it to our "partners." Whatever. You also agree that we can kill you, if the need arises, and sell your body parts on the black market. And we can use your car anytime we want.
This is a legally-binding agreement. If you don’t like it, hire an attorney (starting rates = $175 per hour). Ha-ha.